Waterboarding: Torture or Not?

It’s just so darned hard to get a straight answer out of policy makers and policy hacks. Though, interestingly enough, it’s not that hard to get opinions from warriors (or prisoners) who have been subjected to it.

Yes, it’s torture. It’s labeled such, known as such, practiced as such. The fact that we subject our SEALs and Rangers and other special forces operatives to it to give them an idea of what torture *is* and how to resist it, tells us that it’s legitimately, objectively classifiable as TORTURE.

So, you might ask with wonder in your eyes, why are Senators and Congresscitters and administration hacks arguing about it in public? Why is it “important” on somebody’s scale of things to do to make this long-ago made distinction? Why won’t AG candidate Michael Mukasey lend us his views on the issue? It’s a fair question, let’s ask it…

Unless you happen to be a member of the National Association of Waterboarders and Controlled Drowners, this whole debate probably makes no sense at all.

Not to worry, Waterboarders of Amerika! Darth Cheney is solidly on Your Side. Speaking to reporters this past week, his resolve was clear…

Braving chilly November temperatures to make their point about the media’s negative stereotyping of them, the angry torturers got some moral support when one of their most prominent supporters, Vice President Dick Cheney, emerged from his secure undisclosed location to address them.

The vice president received a thunderous ovation from the crowd when he proposed that the government earmark $1.6 billion to improve the media image of waterboarding and waterboarders.

“There’s nothing wrong with waterboarding that a little public relations makeover wouldn’t fix,” the vice president told the crowd. “For starters, why not call it dunking?”

“Dunking” has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Reminds one of the glory days of Witch Hunts and general persecution and genocides of the Middle Ages.

This is such a travesty. Surely even the defenders recognize that. Are we not all human?

Links:

TPMemo: How Low Can We Go?

Andy Borowitz: Waterboarders Protest Negative Media Stereotypes

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Filed under Anti-War, Appointees, Corruption, History, Humor, Hypocrisy, Military, Republicans, Snark, Torture | Comments (2)