The Palin Soap Opera Continues…

Despite beauty queen-like blustering, circular speech patterns full of airhead nonsense, and empty threats against bloggers (like me), Sarah Palin’s hilarious family soap opera got even funnier over the past week. It’s not “Troopergate” that finally ended her quest for national prominence and the highest office in the land – from whence she could dictate how the rest of America’s families should be just as dysfunctional as her own – it was that lovely free house she got in exchange for a cushy construction permit way back when she was just the Mayor of Wasilla.

Seems that fancy big sports complex and hockey rink built with ample taxpayer Pork looks suspiciously like the lake house hubby Todd says he built with his own two secessionist hands (with a little help from some ‘builder buddies’) used building materials ordered at the same time from the same suppliers by the same company that ‘won’ the contract for the complex. Same siding, same windows, same roofing, etc.

And while my grandson who voted for the first time last election thinks that’s rather a nifty perk for being a politician, we did have to explain to him that it qualifies as a bribe – quid pro quo – and is illegal and always has been illegal. As in breaking the law, even in Alaska.

Thus did Sarah hold a hastily called press conference on the weekday federal holiday we euphemistically call “Independence Day” and announce that she will not be finishing out her first (and only) term as governor of the Great State of Alaska. Her reasons were several, they are disjointed, they make no reasonable sense, and if the boredom factor is in any way true, she’s got no business ever having gotten into politics in the first place.

Palin struck out at the media as enemies that finally defeated her, but the old adage “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the fire” comes readily to mind. Nobody gets to be a serious contender for national office in this country without having to run the media gauntlet, since it’s the Fourth Estate’s JOB to vet these people and ask uncomfortable questions. If you can’t handle them, you should remain a private citizen and do something else for a living.

I will admit that I am sorely disappointed, having wished most fondly for a Palin-Limbaugh ticket in 2012. But then again, I’m a clown by trade, and the promise of comedy fodder for years to come was just irresistible. A Sanford-Limbaugh ticket is also off the table due to the South Carolina governor’s love affair with a foreigner and penchant for secretive trysts that had him out of the country for over a week without telling a soul where he was going. For wannabe morality dictators, these Republicans are a sorry bunch, for sure!

Whether or not Palin has to answer criminally for her free house, her political career is now O-V-E-R. Now she can go back to keeping books for Todd’s snowmobile dealership and take care of her kids. I wish her the best of luck with that, and thank her for all the laughs along the way. I never would have been aware of her at all had John McCain not decided – or, his handlers decided – to elevate her to a sickly heartbeat away from the Presidency. At which point she could not have simply called the press and rambled on endlessly about non-reasons for stepping down. Thereby joining the exalted ranks of disgraced executives that includes such luminaries as Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon.

Thanks, John McCain, and thank you Sarah. It’s been fun!

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