Oh John, You Handsome Cad!

Well folks, it’s 8-8-08, which of course means it’s the End of the World. Right on cue, it’s revealed that John Edwards, best-looking Presidential Wannabe in this nation’s history, was revealed today to have enjoyed an extramarital affair. Might even have fathered one of America’s many (a majority these days) “fatherless” bastards. Wow. I’m so not frothing.

No, we don’t use the word “bastard” anymore to talk about REAL fatherless children. We call him or her our “Love Child.” It’s been that way since the 1960s, becomes more popular every year. Yet the leftist Democratic blogosphere goes absolutely ballistic over this non-news, as if the socialist-leaning, populist, progressive population is this country isn’t the exclusive enclave of Hippies who managed to live through those glorious ’60s (and their children, and their grandchildren, many/most of them fatherless or on step-father #4 by now).

Suddenly they’re all strict Old Testament moralists of the Pharisee variety, buying fake beards and arming themselves with stones. It’s just enough hard core, disgusting hypocrisy to make me sick to my stomach. Get a life, people!

1. John Edwards dropped out early. Might have been guilt for the affair, but it’s more likely that he realized he didn’t have a real shot. He is NOT the Democratic nominee.

2. Affairs, especially engaged while the long-suffering wife is in dire straits with cancer or injuries or something, is a regular way of life on the ‘Pug side of the aisle. The actual Republican nominee is rather famous for screwing around on his injured wife with his now-current wife, whom he has publicly called a “cunt” even though he really does like her corporate jet.

3. Apparently John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth, who is in remission from breast cancer, are still together and “working it out.” Whatever that means. In which case, it’s none of our damned business. Really, now. Watch some porn if you’re that hard up for something sexy to excite you.

I can recall when Francois Mitterand’s long-time mistress and their daughter were moved into an annext of the Esysee Palace at state expense. She was just his favorite of many. Both attended his funeral. Jacques Chirac had a penchant for Japanese women. John Kennedy is said to have been ‘partying’ on his yacht with several young women while Jackie was in labor, and then there was the whole Marilyn Monroe birthday cake thing. Then there’s Hillary Clinton, who got a lot closer to the Democratic nomination than John Edwards. She had her wayward hubby - who subjected the entire country to 8 years’ worth of impeachment distraction because he couldn’t keep his fly zipped - out on the campaign trail for her.

This sort of grotesque puritanism and blatant hypocrisy is one of the things I like least about the American public’s so-called “values.” I am flat-out disgusted. Not by John Edwards, or by his and Elizabeth’s private lives, but by all the fickle flirts out there in the blogosphere who once tried so hard to turn him into a sex object, and who are now screaming and raging because they weren’t the ones who got to do the dirty deed. Time to call a waaaaaambulance.

Enough, already.

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Filed under COM, Outrage, Blogosphere, Snark, Slime Machine, Hypocrisy, Media, John Edwards |