CNN commentator Roland S. Martin has a piece up today (July 22) entitled, Obama birth issue is nutty that proceeds to make good fun of the wingnuts. But since one of George W. Bush’s first serious actions as President after 9-11 was to arrange the biggest government overhaul since the New Deal – by inventing the so-called “Department of Homeland Security” – there are Americans out in the hinterland who are suddenly quite confused about their legal status. I’m one of them, and so is recent Republican Presidential candidate John McCain. Who, like me, actually wasn’t born in the United States of America.

McCain, like me, was a Navy brat. He was born in the Panama Canal Zone, I was born in the Philippines. There used to be a clear law on the books that held the children of American citizens born in a foreign country are indeed ‘natural born’ American citizens, even if they automatically get dual citizenship for the country in which they were born. I had that until I was 18, though after that I would have had to formalize, and I was never very fond of Ferdinand and Imelda “Shoe-Lady” Marcos. So I let it slide. Still, if nobody questioned McCain’s citizenship qualification for POTUS, the fervor with which wingnuttia rants about Obama seems even crazier. I mean, even if Hawaii hadn’t been a state when he was born, did not all Hawaiians receive automatic citizenship when it WAS made a state? It was a territory, after all. Like Puerto Rico. Which apparently some wingnuts in Congress think is a foreign country too, thus Judge Sonia Sotomayor couldn’t be a citizen. Weird.

The last day job I held was in the period after 9-11 when DHS became the designated troublemaker for Americans of all kinds. My problems started when Human Resources was informed that my birth certificate didn’t qualify as “proof of citizenship” for me to have gotten the job. So I responded that my state driver’s license and Social Security card should suffice if HR couldn’t manage to read the line that designated US citizenship for both my parents and myself on that Philippine-issued birth certificate. They told me I had to get a birth certificate from a state here in the US. So I asked them which state they’d suggest I pretend to be born in, thinking there must be a racket in California or somewhere that provides fake birth certificates for people like me who weren’t actually born there. They were not amused.

Then they found a “discrepency” on my Social Security card. Seems I had used the name I’ve always gone by in addition to the first name on my birth certificate, when I had the last name changed after I got married back in 1969. I was informed they could no longer make my pay checks out to my legal name (which WAS on the card), and which is the name on my bank account. The bank then proceeded to tell me it couldn’t cash my checks! I was informed I’d have to take unpaid time off work – for which I’d get in trouble because no one would approve it – to stand in line at the SS office to have the name changed again. So I could work. I began to get the very strong feeling they didn’t want me there.

So I wrote a nice missive to HR telling them that I’d been paying taxes for more than 35 years under the NUMBER on my SS card, and that the IRS – a duly authorized agency of the federal government – had never once complained or refused my money. I further wrote that when I got married, I had my named changed to his on that card, and nobody ever asked to see a court order or required me to get one that “legally” changed my last name. In fact, I had dropped my given middle name entirely and used the first initial of my original last name on all legal matters from that time on. Also a CUSTOM, not something for which I ever had to go to court. I further said that if I were to be required per DHS’s audit to legally change my name, they were going to have to go after every single married woman in the country who had ever taken her husband’s name or used their maiden name’s initial for their middle. That’s about 55% of the entire population, not something this nation had the money to accomplish while spending $10 billion a month in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I did end up quitting that job just because I know when I’m not wanted. Now write full time freelance, and my boss has never asked me to prove I’m a citizen or argued with me about what name I care to attach. Oh… and he uses direct deposit to pay me, in the account with my terrorist name attached.

I call it my “terrorist” name because DHS was supposed to be chasing terrorists, not messing up the lives and livelihoods of lifelong American citizens and taxpayers in good standing. Thus they must have believed I’m some sort of terrorist. I prefer the title “Terrierist,” since I’m quite fond of small dogs. You’d think these folks would have better things to do in the wake of 9-11, perhaps going after real terrorists or something. Guess that’s what I get for thinking.

I presume these crazy wingnuts would be doing this same weird Dervish Dance if John McCain were President right now. I mean, he absolutely wasn’t born in the United States, while Barack Obama absolutely was. And while they’re at it, they should make a new law that says the wives of military officers stationed overseas are forbidden to visit them or live with them, on the off-chance a baby might be born somewhere outside of Kansas. Sheesh!

Most of these idiots are so dumb and so ill-educated that they can’t even find California on a map, much less Panama or Philippines or Iraq. Why are they being given time and attention in the media? Shouldn’t we be ashamed of the morons among us, the fact that they represent a good 20% of our population? Is that inbreeding, environmental toxins, or just insane?

Whatever it is, I’m glad I’m not one of them. And I think there should be an IQ test administered to all employees of the Department of Homeland Security to ensure we don’t have to actually deal with any of these defectives in our day-to-day lives.

1. “American prosperity has always been driven by the steady supply of abundant and affordable energy.”

Actually, it was not until the rural electrification efforts of the 1930s – which were financed largely by the government as part of the infrastructure make-work provisions of the New Deal – that electricity became available outside major cities. In many states of the west-southwest, the CCC and Army Corps of Engineers worked in tandem with the rural electrification programs building dams and hydroelectric power plants to supply energy to those rural grids. Most of these RECs were cooperatives, owned by the customers who purchased the power, and governed by boards drawn from those small communities.

Note to Sarah’s Ghost: This is Socialism in action.

2. “There is no denying that as the world becomes more industrialized, we need to reform our energy policy and become less dependent on foreign energy sources. But the answer doesn’t lie in making energy scarcer and more expensive!” + something about destroying the economy.

Actually, as so graphically demonstrated last summer when the price of gasoline was arbitrarily jacked up to nearly $5 a gallon so oil companies and traders could make a literal killing, a reasonably high cost of energy that reflects its serious environmental effects, the expensive wars we are fighting to secure it, etc. leads directly to conservation efforts instigated by the people themselves rather than imposed by the government. Consumption of gasoline suddenly got cut in half as people stopped driving two blocks to the bar or convenient store, car-pooled to work, learned how to walk again, etc. It’s good for people to pay the actual costs.

Note to Sarah’s Ghost: The economy is already destroyed. Did you not notice? We did. These legs are made for walking. Or riding a bike. A truly reflective cost of gasoline – which other countries have been paying for decades – will spur investment in alternatives that will be more environmentally friendly, will bring much-needed crop price relief to farmers, and will generate jobs as more and more people are out of work with no chance of ever going back to the old ones.

3. “In addition to immediately increasing unemployment in the energy sector, even more American jobs will be threatened by the rising cost of doing business under the cap-and-tax plan. For example, the cost of farming will certainly increase, driving down farm incomes while driving up grocery prices. The costs of manufacturing, warehousing and transportation will also increase.”

Massive unemployment in the energy sector began just weeks after Saint Ronnie the Reagan took the oath of office. He ordered the wells in the booming oil and gas industry in Texas and Oklahoma (where I was at the time) immediately capped. Then he dramatically increased our dependence on imported Middle Eastern oil, no doubt to justify foreign policy adjustments that have led to current illegal oil wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. What’s under those caps is now “reserve,” as we struggle to use up as much of the ME’s supplies as possible.

Note to Sarah’s Ghost: The increased cost of doing things the old way will spur investment in new ways. Those acre-size factories dotting the landscape can install solar panels on their huge roofs to offset their costs. Wind and water storage systems can help provide night supply, but most such factories don’t run at night anyway. That’s jobs in the factories, jobs in support industries (like installation and maintenance), jobs in production, and electricity in the grid. This won’t be done so long as energy is artificially cheap. Real costs will lead to real changes.

4. “Of course, Alaska is not the sole source of American energy. Many states have abundant coal, whose technology is continuously making it into a cleaner energy source. Westerners literally sit on mountains of oil and gas, and every state can consider the possibility of nuclear energy.”

Again, America’s producing oil and gas fields expanded dramatically during Jimmy Carter’s “energy crisis” and ordered capped the moment Reagan got into office. They’ve been capped ever since. These are wells already drilled, were already producing. In order to increase our dependence on foreign supply so we could use it up and make vassals of those nations later on. Obviously, home-grown energy independence is NOT a Republican value or a “supply-side” tenet.

I live in Appalachia. I was in southeastern Kentucky last weekend and Mountaintop Removal is the absolute ultimate in environmental rape for fewer jobs and more poverty. I’m big into making a law through NC’s legislature that would forbid Duke and others from using coal mined in this way. In Tennessee there are once-beautiful communities still devastated by the massive fly ash spill, and increasing nasty health effects nobody’s attending to. There’s no such thing as “Clean Coal” – those scrubbers have been required by law since the 1970s and are STILL not installed because all coal plants get a waiver!

As for the most expensive and dangerous form of boiling water ever conceived, don’t get me started… I can go on for months. All those “secret” scram failures, failed fuel incidents and big ass dumps that have been going on since the early 1950s have killed and injured generations of Americans and are STILL not being adequately addressed. NO NUCLEAR, and I mean that most sincerely as a one-time health physicist who has seen it up close and ugly. We will NEVER be able to afford it, in any possible way.

Note to Sarah’s Ghost: Name the forum, baby. I’ll bring my real cost-benefit analyses, my technical details, and some very sick survivors. You bring your ignorance, your propaganda and your lies. Then we’ll let the People decide, m’kay?

The way we do energy in this country must change. The change will indeed cause some trade-offs, that’s why the government is going to have to subsidize some things. Like offsets for the poor, low-cost financing to the low end of the middle class (that still own homes) to refit with supplemental power generation capacity and backwards meters, revamping the grid to recover some of the 30% of generation capacity we now lose to inefficiencies of transmission, etc., etc., etc.

Putting it off another decade or two won’t help, as more and more cities find themselves under water and massive population relocation kicks in due to increased global warming. Eventually it’s just time to pay the piper, and now is our time. Go back to Alaska and take care of your kids. They need you, we do not.

Events in Iran following the outrageous actions of losing candidate Ahmadinejad (try to say it three times fast) and the supreme Ayatollah against massive street demonstrations in Tehran and across the country have turned violent. Though the secondary Ayatollah, the Iranian military and about half of the elite Republican Guard are supporting challenger Mir Hossein Mousavi, or at least staying out of the fray.

Six members of the Iranian national soccer team wore green armbands in solidarity during the first half of a World Cup qualifying game yesterday (June 17). The government has tried hard to cut off all lines of communication to the outside world, but sporadic cell phone service has allowed text updates and cell phone videos to be distributed. Twitter put off scheduled maintenance to keep its service going during this dramatic confrontation, incoming posts at #iranelection.

HuffPo’s Live Blog has incoming information day and night, the University of Chicago has opened a dedicated Iran fax line [at 1-888-308-3025 for incoming] as cell service gets more unreliable. Various volunteers have been receiving cell videos from Iran and posting them to YouTube.

Here’s how you can help, and many people have set their computers up for proxy to cover individuals reporting from Iran. Election challenger Mir Hossein Mousavi is posting regularly on his Facebook page, which can be read in English by clicking that version at the bottom of the page. He has called for a national day of mourning for “those killed in post-election clashes” June 18.

The whole world is watching, President Obama said the other day, and it’s true. So wear some green, try to keep up, and let’s all hope for the best outcome.

Alas, the now-marginalized Republican Party is desperately attempting to solidify the ‘base’ it lost in the past two general election cycles, even to the point of declaring wealthy radio hate-monger, opportunist, chickenhawk and drug addict Rush Limbaugh to be their new Dear Leader. Whoa. Can things get weirder than that?

Aparently so. We’ve got Bill O’Reilly and Bernie Goldberg talking about beating up editorialists with baseball bats on cable television. We’ve got Total Gym shill Chuck Norris and Glenn Beck talking about setting up sleeper cells, and some actual Senators and Congressmen talking secession! No, that wasn’t just a Sarah Palin deal for Alaskan Independence. They might be serious this time.

Neo-Nazis planning those “dirty bombs” Bush-II used to love so much as a scare tactic, total idiots stuffing the SCOTUS with challenges to Obama’s citizenship while telling troops they don’t have to obey the orders of the Commander In Chief, things are getting weirder by the day. Sedition. Advocacy of open rebellion, talk of terrorist acts and assassination.

These things were illegal – and considered real threats to National Security – back when it was liberals said to be doing the organizing. Why isn’t it illegal now? Was Timothy McVeigh a liberal nutjob or a militia wingnut? Our home grown terrorists and assassins aren’t generally from the ranks of the left, at least not since the Weathermen got shut down during Tricky Dick’s reign.

With Obama’s approval ratings hovering somewhere between 69 and 85% across the board, these people whose Neocon hero left office with less than 30% approval must surely be very frightened about their marginalization in last November’s election to “Southern Regional” that couldn’t even carry most of the south. They aren’t all that many, but they have powerful advocates in mass media and in the halls of Congress, and are being actively encouraged toward violence. The weak-minded among them will snap – that’s inevitable. Will we bring their puppeteers to face justice for yelling FIRE! in the theater?

These crazy people have always been with us, a reliable 20% of the population in the best of times but mostly lazy and/or inept. Perhaps Obama can manage to get some sort of universal health care concessions to cover psychiatric treatment most people can’t afford these days. In the meantime, I personally have been encouraged by some cross-linking of the Netroots DKos community and official FBI monitors of hate speech and crime, assassination threats, etc. That might seem like an odd pairing to you too, dear readers, but the pendulum has officially swung. America must be dragged – kicking and screaming if need be – into the 21st century.

I was born in the ’50s, but I sure don’t want to go back there at this late date. My memory is pretty good, and things weren’t really so great back then. I also remember ‘63 and ‘68. Things weren’t so great then either. In fact, I’m sick and tired of having all my hopes toward the future on the political and popular fronts dashed by assassin’s bullets and seditionist’s bombs. I’m not afraid of crazy Muslim Mullahs in caves halfway across the world, refuse to live my life in fear of them. There are people born and present right here in the U.S. of A. that are a heck of a lot bigger threat to my peace and prosperity quotient. I say we stop them this time before they kill hundreds or thousands of us.

Three of the four registered voters in my household voted more than two weeks ago, just 4 days into the early voting period here in North Carolina. That’s me, my hubby and our grandson who turned 18 in May. Daughter is voting today, mostly because she has this ‘thing’ about voting on election day. Then she and grandson are headed for Asheville to tend lines (I doubt there will be one here, more than three quarters of this end of the county early voted), then to an election party expected to go late into the night. Hubby and I will be off to our county seat, where we’ve been recruited as “Poll Ninjas” by the Dem chair, there to assist in case anybody is challenged, lawyers standing by.

Paper ballots again this year too, since Diebold got kicked out of the state after throwing the 2004 election into utter turmoil (it took months to sort out some state races, so many split-ticket votes had been compromised! Filling in the dot isn’t that hard. Counting them isn’t that hard either.

But it’ll be morning before we know the actual results, so I thought I’d offer a true story about voting out in “real America”…

Election Day in Wilburton, Oklahoma

It was 1982, a midterm election generally, but important locally for the city government, police chief and sheriff, county wigs. I worked as a typesetter and editor for the local weekly newspaper – it was the county seat, but there wasn’t enough going on in the county for more than a weekly. The newspaper office was across the street (little more than an alley) from the courthouse, police station and jail. Next door to the funeral home, across a vacant lot that was part of their big lawn.

There were no radio or television stations in the county, so the citizens started gathering on the funeral home lawn about a half hour before the polls closed. They brought blankets, lawn chairs, coolers, picnic baskets and children, by 7 p.m. the place was packed. Fred the publisher had a gigantic blackboard on a stand that was marked with grids in white paint that he’d used to post vote tallies as they came in for at least 4 decades. It was a regular feature for the county, families had been gathering there for generations.

Once the candidates and offices were written-in on the blackboard, we carried it outside and set it right in the middle of the street between our office and the courthouse where the votes were being counted. As the precinct totals were released, a runner would bring it to Fred in his big lawn chair, he’d nod, then I would hand it to the pressman precariously perched on a ladder, chalk in hand. He’d add the tally under the proper columns, and the people on the funeral home lawn would cheer or boo by turns. The totals had to be refreshed each time another precinct came in, and that was my job. I had a nice pocket calculator to help me with the math, and if I got it wrong I knew for sure I’d hear about it immediately from the crowd.

The last of the ballot boxes didn’t come in from far corners of the county until nearly 9 p.m., and by then many of the families with small children had made their way back home. But new people kept the lawn full as factory shifts were over and others got off work. The winners and losers were known by about 10 p.m. unless it was a very close race. We had one that year for Sheriff, it went all the way to 11 before we knew who won.

Now, we the “Paper People” didn’t get out of there until 3 a.m., since after all that song and dance for the audience we had to put the Special Election Edition together, get it printed and distributed. Made for a very, very long night, but I remember it fondly as my all-time favorite election.

Fred died some years ago, I have heard that the people don’t gather on the funeral home lawn anymore to watch the election results. They stay behind closed doors and watch Fox News, wait until the next day to find out who won the local contests. That’s very sad to me, just another symptom of the fog of depression that settled over Oklahoma when it abandoned its fervently Democratic status in favor of these past 8 years’ worth of fear-mongering, hate and insult. I don’t guess there will ever be a friendly community election again in that part of the country, so this little bit of Americana has gone the way of the dinosaur. I miss it, especially on an election day so full of Hope as this one!

Well, I was going to report on the St. Paul RNC this week like I did the DNC in Denver last week, but it never quite caught my attention. Hardly anybody went (including the President and Vice-President of the United States, who are the party’s figureheads), Weather was lousy in Louisiana so the first day got put off altogether, and Fred Thompson makes me go to sleep.

But I’ve honestly gotta say, this whole Alaska Momma mooseburger beauty queen thing with Sarah Palin has me utterly and completely befoozled. Bamboozled. Conundrumated. WTF???

First thing out of the gate was that she’s been governator for less than two years, and before that was mayor of a town the same size as Wilburton, Oklahoma (where Granny lives). Then she violated military regulations and operations security by telling everybody her 18-year old son is deploying on September 11. Then she lied about her close relationship with indicted AK senator Ted Stevens and his “bridge to nowhere”, and ‘forgot’ to tell anyone that her own state Senate has her under current investigation for abuse of power. Oops.

Then she threw her pregnant 17-year old daughter under the bus to ‘prove’ the Downs Syndrome baby is really her son and not her grandson, even though just showing his birth certificate would have done the trick fine. Then she denied ever being a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, but only addressed their conventions occasionally as some sort of ‘courtesy’. Before it came out that her hubby indeed was a member of AIP – and its “plastic explosives deal gone bad” characters until 2002. Then… then…

It’s just a scandal a minute, I can’t keep up! Obviously, no one from McCain’s campaign – or the government – ever vetted Ms. Mooseburger. Well, there’s a reason for that too, now that the mainstream media’s awake and paying attention. Turns out she was vetted by James Dobson & Crew, who apparently got carte blanche from the McMansions campaign to pick the V.P. And I’m guessing the only vetting CNP did was to call her hometown preacher. Just… Wow.

So. Since I’m too fascinated by this soap opera to bother with the RNC, here’s the icing on the cake:

Via NRO, Enquirer reporting Palin Adultery

Another incredible allegation emerging from the family war is that Palin, a mother of five, had an affair with a former business associate of her fisherman husband, Todd.

“Todd discovered the affair and quickly dissolved his friendship and his business associations with the guy,” charges an enemy. “Many people in Alaska are talking about the rumor and say Todd swept it under the rug.”

Who knows if that one’s true? It *is* the Enquirer, which isn’t noted for its journalistic standards. But then again, they’re the ones who busted John Edwards, so it might be. I’m not taking any odds at this point, given how completely bizzaro this whole thing is so far.

And it’s been less than a week since we first heard of her. Just… Wow.

As I sit here listening to CSPAN pre-convention inanities and old speeches in the background while waiting for the kickoff (and a Teddy Kennedy cry-fest), I figured I’d go ahead and report the first Odd-News story of the ‘08DNC. It certainly gave me a giggle.

The DNC pool coverage this year is being provided by… of all possible sources… Fox News. Just about 12 hours exactly from the opening, the sprinkler system in a Fox skybox was set off, flooding the downstairs concourse and club areas so badly the fire department had to suck it up with shop-vacs. The massive amounts of lighting and broadcasting equipment – and attendant wiring – had to be hastily removed to prevent electrical fire. The link is from KSUA-TV 9 in Denver:

Part of Pepsi Center flooded by sprinkler system

Some immediate pointed asides occurred to me, so of course I perused the bored-as-me blogosphere to see what kind of speculations might be floating around. The best I’ve found so far for satirical or just plain humorous value are:

• Since it’s the Pepsi Center, was it Aquafina?
• Their pants were on fire.
• Pundit hairspray meets Limbaugh’s cigar.
• Hot air from Sean Hannity.
• Methane. Too much bullshit too close to hot lights.

On the fact that some fundamentalists were out front praying for rain…

• Proof positive prayer works.
• Proof that one needs to word prayers carefully.

Hahaha!!! Whew! Presuming Fox’s lighting crew figured out they can’t put those hot spots within a foot of the heat sensors for the sprinkler system, I’ve also been idly watching the interactions between people and groups of people wandering through the convention center. If you thought the YKos and NetrootsNation conventions were regular hotbeds of rampant pair-bonding (mostly temporary), the DNC has to take the cake!

I’m sure there’s an equivalent amount of close encounters that take place during the RNC, so I’m not saying only one side of the aisle is sexier. It’s just that at the RNC it’s mostly chemically-enhanced and happening in the men’s rest rooms. [rim shot]

Hehehe!!! Okay, I think I’m prepared to spend the next four days glued to all-day platform committee hammering, all-evening speechifying and all-night partying – on CSPAN, sans commercials. Should be fun!

Posts to the DNC Series:

Stoopid Network Tricks and Dallying Dems
Assassination Plot Busted, Teddy’s Speech
Hard-Hearted Hillary Made Me Cry
Bill Is Still The Godfather

Wow. That’s a real photograph of our dear President representing America at the Olympic Summer Games in Bejing. Pay particular attention to the look on daughter Barbara next to him… Even as Chinese police are slaughtering protesters north of the city and censoring internet access for people from all over the world. Some athletes and journalists covering the games can’t even get their own blogs…

Just for coming-in-January nostalgia’s sake, check out the rest of these fun photos over at Gawker. At the very least it’ll make you not feel so bad about those debate drinking games where you have to chug every time John McCain mentions being a tortured Vietnam veteran or Obama says “we can.”

Link:

Gawker: Bush Looking Drunk at the Olympics

Well folks, it’s 8-8-08, which of course means it’s the End of the World. Right on cue, it’s revealed that John Edwards, best-looking Presidential Wannabe in this nation’s history, was revealed today to have enjoyed an extramarital affair. Might even have fathered one of America’s many (a majority these days) “fatherless” bastards. Wow. I’m so not frothing.

No, we don’t use the word “bastard” anymore to talk about REAL fatherless children. We call him or her our “Love Child.” It’s been that way since the 1960s, becomes more popular every year. Yet the leftist Democratic blogosphere goes absolutely ballistic over this non-news, as if the socialist-leaning, populist, progressive population is this country isn’t the exclusive enclave of Hippies who managed to live through those glorious ’60s (and their children, and their grandchildren, many/most of them fatherless or on step-father #4 by now).

Suddenly they’re all strict Old Testament moralists of the Pharisee variety, buying fake beards and arming themselves with stones. It’s just enough hard core, disgusting hypocrisy to make me sick to my stomach. Get a life, people!

1. John Edwards dropped out early. Might have been guilt for the affair, but it’s more likely that he realized he didn’t have a real shot. He is NOT the Democratic nominee.

2. Affairs, especially engaged while the long-suffering wife is in dire straits with cancer or injuries or something, is a regular way of life on the ‘Pug side of the aisle. The actual Republican nominee is rather famous for screwing around on his injured wife with his now-current wife, whom he has publicly called a “cunt” even though he really does like her corporate jet.

3. Apparently John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth, who is in remission from breast cancer, are still together and “working it out.” Whatever that means. In which case, it’s none of our damned business. Really, now. Watch some porn if you’re that hard up for something sexy to excite you.

I can recall when Francois Mitterand’s long-time mistress and their daughter were moved into an annext of the Esysee Palace at state expense. She was just his favorite of many. Both attended his funeral. Jacques Chirac had a penchant for Japanese women. John Kennedy is said to have been ‘partying’ on his yacht with several young women while Jackie was in labor, and then there was the whole Marilyn Monroe birthday cake thing. Then there’s Hillary Clinton, who got a lot closer to the Democratic nomination than John Edwards. She had her wayward hubby – who subjected the entire country to 8 years’ worth of impeachment distraction because he couldn’t keep his fly zipped – out on the campaign trail for her.

This sort of grotesque puritanism and blatant hypocrisy is one of the things I like least about the American public’s so-called “values.” I am flat-out disgusted. Not by John Edwards, or by his and Elizabeth’s private lives, but by all the fickle flirts out there in the blogosphere who once tried so hard to turn him into a sex object, and who are now screaming and raging because they weren’t the ones who got to do the dirty deed. Time to call a waaaaaambulance.

Enough, already.

Sure, there have been tin-foil hat conspiracy theories aplenty for as long as anyone alive can remember. The Jewish bankers got together with the German Illuminati and plotted the ‘New World Order’, getting its first nail in the coffin in 1913 with the Federal Reserve, going straight from there to instigating WW-I with a well-planned assassination in Sarajevo, culling the first wave of accumulated wealth in 1929 to start the Great Depression, which could only be alleviated in the end by WW-II.

And they needed an excuse to overrule America’s strong isolationism at the time, so they didn’t bother to do anything about the incoming Japanese fleet as it sailed en masse toward Pearl Harbor. Not exactly a “false flag” operation, but certainly despicable. REAL false flag operations got famous when the wholly fictional Gulf of Tonkin ‘incident’ allowed the US military to ensconce itself in perpetuity in South Vietnam, admittedly (by several ‘memoirs’ since, by people who could know) for the purpose of testing the nifty new armaments and chemical warfare agents amassed when they ‘forgot’ to cut the wartime military budget after Hiroshima and Nagasaki ended the war.

Then there was 9-11. A textbook case made for tin-foil speculation, undoubtedly. Huge skyscrapers imploding perfectly from jet fuel in the upper stories, a whole different, un-damaged skyscraper that mysteriously collapsed in the same fashion late that afternoon for no apparent reason, a hole in the danged Pentagon but zero signs of anything that might have caused it, etc., etc., etc. I doubt anybody’s unaware of the grand conspiracy theories for that dreadful day.

Then, just a week later, some journalists and a congresscritters received letters in the mail containing weaponized anthrax spores and badly printed notes from what we were told was just another Arab terrorist. Only that wasn’t true either, as quickly became known. Why, it turns out that the weaponized anthrax spores came from the US Army’s own bioweapons facility at Fort Detrick, Maryland.

At first the FBI fingered an Egyptian researcher for the dirty deed, but couldn’t make a case of it. They looked for a short time at an Israeli researcher too, but backed right off that one quick. So they went after a regular American researcher in the lab, and paid him nearly $6 million just a couple of months ago for ruining his life. Desperate, they settled on another guy, and he is said to have killed himself last week with Tylenol (something not fun, takes about 5 days to die). Which must of course make him the lone gunman in this particular incident, right?

If you agree, you’ll just love the incredible amount of gossamer ‘evidence’ being used to convict a dead guy who held high enough clearance to work in an Army bioweapons lab for 28 years, was in all appearances an upstanding family man, and had ZERO run-ins with the law – all on the highly dubious ‘testimony’ of a highly suspicious non-professional psychiatric ‘babysitter’ (now in hiding) with a rap sheet for DUI and domestic violence as long as your arm – is quite absurd. They’re really losing their touch at this late date. This stuff is way, way flimsier than magic bullets, perfectly ‘dropped’ skyscrapers and dead terrorists that turned up alive and well.

For those of you who like a thoroughly twisted Ludlum plot as well as a seriously holey conspiracy theory, don your tin-foil beanies and follow some of the links below to the ongoing drama. Looks like I’m not the only person who keeps a big salt lick handy when the gub’ment starts handing out badly crafted lies…

Links:

WSJ: Bruce Ivins Wasn’t the Anthrax Culprit [Opinion, Richard Spertzel, head of biological weapons section Unscom '94-'99]
NYT: Anthrax Evidence Called Mostly Circumstantial
Salon: Glenn Greenwald on the anthrax investigation
John McQuaid: Bentonite and ABC’s credibility
BuzzFlash: Jean C. Duley… tell us again…
Anthrax Vaccine – Meryl Nass
The Hidden Anthrax Letters Suspect
The Death of Mr. Ivins